TSR Watermark - 2158

I started CBT again on Friday(that’s Cognitive Behavioural Therapy – just in case any BDSM fans get the wrong end of the stick, so to speak).

It didn’t start well. I had said I wanted to have the therapy in the city centre for a couple of good reasons. One of those reasons became abundantly clear when I was half an hour late because I was wandering around lost somewhere between Garston and Speke. It brought back a load of memories of panicking when I ventured out during the worst of the depression, anxiety and agoraphobia. At least now, the rest of the sessions will be in the familiar surroundings of their main city centre venue.

After that I would say it went pretty well. It was emotionally taxing – and in the end exhausting. But I think it got me to look with fresh eyes at why I’m having so many ‘low’ days lately. I slept very well last night too!

Sometimes, though, I think it would be far easier just to go back on the anti-depressants. I stopped because my emotional state was TOO level – no horrendous low days, but no inspired, uplifting ones either. (I stopped gradually and with the doctor’s supervision I should add – I never recommend trying to come off them cold turkey. I know some who have, and have done very well, but not everyone does.)

Then I think about the progress I’ve made since I did quit…